YAWNS

Irony defined: I get frustrated with my students when they are bored; yet I am typing this right now because I am bored. (If you knew what "now" is, you may see the irony more easily.)

Is this irony? Situational irony? Maybe I should ask Alanis Morrisette. Hmm...

For the Fat Kid

FOR THE FAT KID
I love you like a fat kid loves chocolate cake.
I love you like a smile loves a dentist.
I love you like a cloud loves the daffodils.
I love you like the rainbow loves the rain.
I love you like my muscles do when you’ve killed my knots.
I love you like my dreams love my alarm the night before a big trip.

In short, I think I’m in “like” with you.
“In love” is for the fat kid.

"Sarah, is it to, too, or two?"

I was missing my little brother, which of course led to a phone call last Friday afternoon. When I talk to my brother, I sometimes have a hard time having a conversation with him because it can be difficult to figure out what would be mutually interesting. This time, I asked a selfish question: how is your new English class. His interest in the conversation surprised me however.

Once he started talking, in a very The Office type tone, he asked, "Sarah, when you're going to say, 'I'm going to the movies' is it 'to, t-o, too, t-o-o, or two, t-w-o'?" I was laughing to myself, as any good English teacher would. He then followed by stating a hyperbole (an exaggeration) and then asked me to identify it. He said, "I learned all the figurative language this week." I wish I could mimick his serious tone in writing, but I can't quite capture a 16 year old version of Dwight.

Love you Jo!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

This is the last week before Christmas break. Somehow, this feels like such a mile marker in my first year of teaching. I see the kids getting antsy, and deep down, I know that I'm antsy as well. Two weeks are coming, two weeks of a break that will bring time for relaxing, getting caught up, and spending time with family. I wish you a Merry Christmas, and I wish me a Merry Christmas!

A Good Day

Good day-
Picture this: Fourth period. Normally a noisy class, but today they were great. I'm excited for the weekend. I walk into class, and one of my students says, "Ms. Johnson, do you want a brownie?" "Yes!" I said.

Storytelling!

Incriminating Evidence

Water cup: I fill it every morning

Two forks: one plastic, one metal; I bring them for my lunches at work.

Spoon: also for lunch at work

Salt: from a restaurant just in case I need it for one of my lunches

Hershey’s candy bar wrapper: I got it while pretending to be interested in book binding

Humoru: a magnet because my friend was in the stand-up comedy club

Wallet: a necessary evil

Loose change: proof of my laziness because I could have put it in my wallet

Paper towels from breakfast: might as well use them as tissues

Clunky ring: pretty in theory, but impossible to put up with

General Conference ticket: I went

Business card from the Latin festival: this was for a jewelry artist

Flower clip: replacement for last year’s, which is missing

Mascara: my safety since I forget that step in my morning routine

Lipgloss: thrown in just in case I feel the need to impress

Chapstick: my actual lip preference

Two red pens: I hate the color, but haven’t bought a different color for grading

One blue pen : I grade with it since I hate red

Three black pens: I can only write with black

Receipt: kept because I feel like I should budget, but crinkled at the bottom of my purse since I don’t

Sunglasses: I hate bright light

Fake glasses: for when I want to feel smart or block fluorescent light inside buildings

Earrings: impossible to live without; these are my spares

3-D movie glasses plastic case: evidence of my passion

Harry Potter movie ticket: better evidence of my passion

iPhone: my lifeline and source of distraction and source of frustration and elation

Keys: my second set, which has my house key rather than my office keys