All day today I was walking to and from class, sitting in lectures, writing in the library, trying not to think about Jeff, who was supposed to call and ask me out at some point because he and I have been talking and starting something in a slow but progressing way, even though both of us are shy and slow-moving, but he didn't call me, and I am a bit bummed as I realize that I probably won't be going out with him this weekend, the exciting romantic adventure exchanged for a Saturday of homework and writing for my Shakespeare class and my American Literature class, the distractions that somewhat kept my mind off of the silence of my phone, whose poor reception in the library wasn't the reason he didn't call, unfortunately, for there were no messages or texts that lifted my hopes, rather a static dissappointment in a temporary letdown of lack of pursuit, initiative, or confidance in my beloved male sex.
--
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Moment of Truth
Well, I've discovered that I am a big scaredy-cat. The thought of something going well in life is intimidating because that means I have to do something about it. That might sound pessimistic, yet it is far too true! I am such an open person in so many ways, yet in some areas of my life, I'm closed and private, not wanting to be vulnerable.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
"B" Work to my "A"
Grammar B or the "Alternate Style" has been my best friend in my BYU career. I waited a long time to find it and worked hard to develop the relationship.
Skipping back to middle school and high school years, my teachers told me to never start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction, use a contraction in an essay, or use the personal voice. Those were unforgivable taboos that evoked a giant red circle whenever I would forget the "rules." Due to such indoctrination, my writing was dry, but won my GPA bonus points on the secondary level.
At the university level, however, I took Dr. Hickman's American Literature Survey Class, where my precious "A's" were slapped and replaced with the dreaded "B's." It seemed no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't produce "A" level work. Such a frustration! All the years of formatting and convention stunted my idea development, and my dry style likely bored my professor to using his pen to distract himself from my dully expressed ideas.
Later in a 300 level university writing class, my professor introduced me to the "Alternate Style" where my ideas finally had the freedom to exist beyond the lines of convention, a "liberation akin to the women's suffrage amendment" like Mr. Romano said in "Breaking the Rules With Style." Using books such as Writing With Style, I learned that I can start a sentence with a conjunction! And doing so could add flavor to an otherwise boring critique, among other rebellious rhetorical techniques.
I now had my own style, breaking the rules in a calculated, controlled way. As a junior, I took a second class from Dr. Hickman, and my writing had changed! I finally earned those "A's," and it felt amazing to receive that affirmation from my favorite professor, knowing that my writing had transformed to what he would deem an accomplishment. He even suggested that I present my piece in a writer's conference. Never in my life had I been so proud of a paper. Though there had been many papers in between those freshman "B's" and the final "A," I felt like that particular paper took me three years of revising my writing: and I finally succeeded!
Romano quoted Weathers who asked "that the 'ways' of writing be spread before [him so that his education could be] devoted to learning how to use them." That too would have been my request, had I known such ways existed!
Skipping back to middle school and high school years, my teachers told me to never start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction, use a contraction in an essay, or use the personal voice. Those were unforgivable taboos that evoked a giant red circle whenever I would forget the "rules." Due to such indoctrination, my writing was dry, but won my GPA bonus points on the secondary level.
At the university level, however, I took Dr. Hickman's American Literature Survey Class, where my precious "A's" were slapped and replaced with the dreaded "B's." It seemed no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't produce "A" level work. Such a frustration! All the years of formatting and convention stunted my idea development, and my dry style likely bored my professor to using his pen to distract himself from my dully expressed ideas.
Later in a 300 level university writing class, my professor introduced me to the "Alternate Style" where my ideas finally had the freedom to exist beyond the lines of convention, a "liberation akin to the women's suffrage amendment" like Mr. Romano said in "Breaking the Rules With Style." Using books such as Writing With Style, I learned that I can start a sentence with a conjunction! And doing so could add flavor to an otherwise boring critique, among other rebellious rhetorical techniques.
I now had my own style, breaking the rules in a calculated, controlled way. As a junior, I took a second class from Dr. Hickman, and my writing had changed! I finally earned those "A's," and it felt amazing to receive that affirmation from my favorite professor, knowing that my writing had transformed to what he would deem an accomplishment. He even suggested that I present my piece in a writer's conference. Never in my life had I been so proud of a paper. Though there had been many papers in between those freshman "B's" and the final "A," I felt like that particular paper took me three years of revising my writing: and I finally succeeded!
Romano quoted Weathers who asked "that the 'ways' of writing be spread before [him so that his education could be] devoted to learning how to use them." That too would have been my request, had I known such ways existed!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Well, I am thoroughly pleased with my weekend so far. I just had the best time doing homework, playing, getting to know people, and watching LOST. I always catch on to things years later, and this is one of those instances. I have avoided the LOST craze because knowing my compulsive, lack of moderation self, I knew that seeing one episode would hook me. Though my homework isn't suffering, my sleep is. But that's okay. It's a form of release.
I am somewhat hesitant in making this a journal for my personal life. I am the most open person with those that I trust, but that usually requires a person to person interaction. If I post something on here, there's always the off-chance that someone can find something out that is embarrassing... Anyways, I am still figuring out this cyber space stuff; I'm undecided as to whether or not I like it.
Well, have a good one!
I am somewhat hesitant in making this a journal for my personal life. I am the most open person with those that I trust, but that usually requires a person to person interaction. If I post something on here, there's always the off-chance that someone can find something out that is embarrassing... Anyways, I am still figuring out this cyber space stuff; I'm undecided as to whether or not I like it.
Well, have a good one!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Lemons
Lemon, a tart flavor that makes
the bland, bright;
the weak, strong;
the boring, memorable.
Lemons lighten the hardened,
liven the burdened, YET
lament the crummy.
Lemons illuminate life,
making minuscule moments magically looming.
Lemons lighten up life
AND
awaken the senses:
the eyes, our smells, the taste,
AND
in so doing,
Changes my air.
the bland, bright;
the weak, strong;
the boring, memorable.
Lemons lighten the hardened,
liven the burdened, YET
lament the crummy.
Lemons illuminate life,
making minuscule moments magically looming.
Lemons lighten up life
AND
awaken the senses:
the eyes, our smells, the taste,
AND
in so doing,
Changes my air.
Interesting life- interesting story?
Well, yesterday I was searching through teaching books, and I stumbled across a book I Am Pencil. In it, there's a chapter that tells of a teacher visiting his student's home. He found a sad situation, but said in the last lines, "well, it will make him a better writer," as though that makes it okay. I was disturbed.
But, lo and behold! Today while reading in Negro Art and America, I found a similar statement, saying that the "the poetry the average negro lives" inspires his story, making the writer's words art because of his lived experience.
I often feel like I have nothing to add to the vast plethora of novels, poetry, and short stories. How could something in my experience really inspire a story that says something important? Does my life have to be interesting in order to have a good story? Or is my life uninteresting to me because the normal things in it seem commonplace to me? Perhaps to someone else, my story would be interesting. But if that's the case, how's a writer to know? How am I to know?
If I feel this way, then how will my high school students feel?
But, lo and behold! Today while reading in Negro Art and America, I found a similar statement, saying that the "the poetry the average negro lives" inspires his story, making the writer's words art because of his lived experience.
I often feel like I have nothing to add to the vast plethora of novels, poetry, and short stories. How could something in my experience really inspire a story that says something important? Does my life have to be interesting in order to have a good story? Or is my life uninteresting to me because the normal things in it seem commonplace to me? Perhaps to someone else, my story would be interesting. But if that's the case, how's a writer to know? How am I to know?
If I feel this way, then how will my high school students feel?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Complaints!
Well, I am supposed to be doing some reading quickly before class starts, but I forgot the reading assignment, and it's not on my syllabus.
Well, yesterday I spent an hour and a half researching to find a topic for my next paper. I shot off an email to my teacher proposing my idea, which she shot down rather well. I understand her reasoning, but it's still a bummer. I can't research what I want because for my idea, she says there isn't any research yet. Who would have thought no one has studied "teaching writing to ESL students." Oh well.
P.S. EFY why didn't hire me for this summer. Bummer.
Well, yesterday I spent an hour and a half researching to find a topic for my next paper. I shot off an email to my teacher proposing my idea, which she shot down rather well. I understand her reasoning, but it's still a bummer. I can't research what I want because for my idea, she says there isn't any research yet. Who would have thought no one has studied "teaching writing to ESL students." Oh well.
P.S. EFY why didn't hire me for this summer. Bummer.
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