Hope

The Due Date

I feel like I'm about to have a baby. Don't worry, I don't mean that I'm literally knocking on the hospital's door with contractions jolting my stomach. I mean that as I approach my student teaching, I can see the due date, and there's no going back. I decided nine months ago plus some years that this was my goal so here I am.

As you can tell by my last post, I often feel destined to be a teacher. Like I said, I feel so empowered in my classes and learning. But today, two things happened that shook my confidence. One, I found out that I will be going to a high school, which intimidates me. I have been preping my nerves for middle school. But high school seems more intimidating. Closer in age. So: I'll readjust. But it just becomes more real knowing where I will be.

After a long day of homework, my first day of work, and my responsibilities, I went to the BYU baseball field to watch Remember the Titans, a favorite of mine--ask me to quote it. Kristina pointed out that BYU was using the film to pump the students up before the season starts this Saturday. I hadn't thought of that. But watching the movie, made me picture myself in front of students. In front of them teaching, in charge of their education. What if I'm bad at it? I realize that I am afraid of failing them and failing myself. This is the intimidation.

But like I said, the due date is coming. I'm already here. Picking a major is the same as getting pregnant. It's too late at this point.