"Sarah, is it to, too, or two?"

I was missing my little brother, which of course led to a phone call last Friday afternoon. When I talk to my brother, I sometimes have a hard time having a conversation with him because it can be difficult to figure out what would be mutually interesting. This time, I asked a selfish question: how is your new English class. His interest in the conversation surprised me however.

Once he started talking, in a very The Office type tone, he asked, "Sarah, when you're going to say, 'I'm going to the movies' is it 'to, t-o, too, t-o-o, or two, t-w-o'?" I was laughing to myself, as any good English teacher would. He then followed by stating a hyperbole (an exaggeration) and then asked me to identify it. He said, "I learned all the figurative language this week." I wish I could mimick his serious tone in writing, but I can't quite capture a 16 year old version of Dwight.

Love you Jo!

Incriminating Evidence

Water cup: I fill it every morning

Two forks: one plastic, one metal; I bring them for my lunches at work.

Spoon: also for lunch at work

Salt: from a restaurant just in case I need it for one of my lunches

Hershey’s candy bar wrapper: I got it while pretending to be interested in book binding

Humoru: a magnet because my friend was in the stand-up comedy club

Wallet: a necessary evil

Loose change: proof of my laziness because I could have put it in my wallet

Paper towels from breakfast: might as well use them as tissues

Clunky ring: pretty in theory, but impossible to put up with

General Conference ticket: I went

Business card from the Latin festival: this was for a jewelry artist

Flower clip: replacement for last year’s, which is missing

Mascara: my safety since I forget that step in my morning routine

Lipgloss: thrown in just in case I feel the need to impress

Chapstick: my actual lip preference

Two red pens: I hate the color, but haven’t bought a different color for grading

One blue pen : I grade with it since I hate red

Three black pens: I can only write with black

Receipt: kept because I feel like I should budget, but crinkled at the bottom of my purse since I don’t

Sunglasses: I hate bright light

Fake glasses: for when I want to feel smart or block fluorescent light inside buildings

Earrings: impossible to live without; these are my spares

3-D movie glasses plastic case: evidence of my passion

Harry Potter movie ticket: better evidence of my passion

iPhone: my lifeline and source of distraction and source of frustration and elation

Keys: my second set, which has my house key rather than my office keys

First Week of Teaching

"Welcome to English 10 and 11," I said. I learned names, asked questions, and after two days, suddenly had a brain ache from learning 200+ names. But I did it! And I remembered most of them. The first two days seemed fairly easy, but I was very concerned later in the week. After seeing cell phones about, a few glazed stares, and apathy and feigned apathy in the faces of my students, I realized that teaching can be hard! I had forgotten. I knew I would face some apathy, but experiencing it is much more keen than simply expecting it.

Though I had experienced this before, I have the convenient habit of forgetting bad memories; thus, every time something reoccurs, I can't remember the previous feelings, and so the fresh frustrations feel just as distressing the second, third, fourth, and hundredth time I experience them. Every yawn pierces my soul. Every sigh wounds my confidence. And each time I meet resistance, I have to remind myself, "the world isn't ending. Some people don't love English or school. And unfortunately, I am a new, imperfect perfectionist teacher."

Though, I love my students and am partially saying that because it helps me love them more, my goals for this week are:

1. Look for the positive in every class period, even the one that has somehow grouped together a batch of kids known as the "class of hell" among other teachers in my department. (Disclaimer: my colleagues are awesome; they just are up front and honest about certain realities.)
2. Look for the positive in myself; i.e., nix the perfectionism.
3. Abstain from killing someone.

I am most confident about the third goal. Hopefully this shows maturity in my less experienced, teaching career; or, it reveals that I'm new at this and haven't had my pet peeves peeved enough yet.

More to come.

The Last Day

I am done at BYU!! I finished student teaching today. Most people are excited for such life moments, but I shed a tear or two today. First when I said bye to my students. Then, when I said bye to my mentor teacher. Then, when I had my exit interview. And then, when I got home. Hmm... I really good at change. In all seriousness, I am going to miss my students so much. I get so attached. Two classes threw me parties. One girl made me lunch. They wrote me letters. I pretty much had the best kids ever!!

A Substitute Experience of Delight

**Yesterday, I filled in for a teacher who needed to leave school for an hour. What ensued left me laughing for the rest of the night. I was wonderfully entertained by adolescent thinking. This may only be funny for my fellow teachers, but I suspect any who remember the abstract thinking of American teenagers may smile.

Boy: But Mrs. Smith always let's me text.

Me: Nice try. Put it away. She's not here. I am.

Boy: (gets up in the middle of a class discussion to get tape) There's no tape. Can I get some from Mrs. Jones?

Me: No. She's teaching and I'm teaching. Get in your seat.

Same boy: (to a girl sitting next to him; with a strong American accent) Tu cuerpo es caliente.

Me: (looking right at him) Don't say that in here.

Scared boy: You speak Spanish?! You understood me?

Me: Yes. So don't say things like that.

Chorus of the class: OH!

During silent reading fifteen minutes later, this same boy, six feet tall, stands up, falls to the ground, and just lays there. And lays there.

Me: Get in your seat. I don't even have a word for you.

(He stayed there for another moment, then got in his seat and behaved for the rest of class.)

**This doesn't sound as funny as it was to experience, but it was so amusing to watch him trying to see what would happen. I didn't have problems with him or anyone else, but it was funny to see how they wanted to see, "what will she do..." :-P

What did I do? Laugh inside. A lot.

Another funny story:

So today, one of my students (we'll call her Amy) walked into class with a nice story. She said, "I just saw a student teacher in the hall who was taking deep breaths as she walked down the hall, saying 'okay, I can do this. I can do this.' " Needless to say, she was laughing, and I was laughing until I realized that if Amy was seeing that side of another student teacher, it wasn't going to help her confidence in me. :-) Of course I occasionally feel this way, but hopefully my students cant see it. And I hope that I'm not as dramatic visually.

My lessons today were a bit more complicated and frustrating; therefore, I solved my sorrows with Mr. Snickers the candy man. Later, I went to a professional development meeting that taught me to read more expressively. The presenter, Dr. Love (a name she hates) reminded me that there are many voices in my head. Apparently watching all those movies over and over in have created a store of voices that I can use when I read. She basically charged me to give life to words--to color them--when I read so that I can engage students. I now have permission to let all those voices and noises in my head escape! AH!!! HERE THEY COME!

High school kids writing

I Love It When...

I love it when I find out that there are twins in my class, and that's why I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get David's name right. There were two of them!

I love it when students spend an entire journal entry writing about why they hate doing journals. they write to the last line so that they won't get points taken off; if I had to do that, I would be annoyed too.

I love it when students read a print-out of Sparksnotes just before a reading quiz. Like I wouldn't see him sitting in the front row.

I love when I hear them announce their dates for the girl's preference dance. "You're the Inspiration."

I love it when students ask sincere questions.

My Final Exam- Nice Assignment Huh?

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

The Due Date

I feel like I'm about to have a baby. Don't worry, I don't mean that I'm literally knocking on the hospital's door with contractions jolting my stomach. I mean that as I approach my student teaching, I can see the due date, and there's no going back. I decided nine months ago plus some years that this was my goal so here I am.

As you can tell by my last post, I often feel destined to be a teacher. Like I said, I feel so empowered in my classes and learning. But today, two things happened that shook my confidence. One, I found out that I will be going to a high school, which intimidates me. I have been preping my nerves for middle school. But high school seems more intimidating. Closer in age. So: I'll readjust. But it just becomes more real knowing where I will be.

After a long day of homework, my first day of work, and my responsibilities, I went to the BYU baseball field to watch Remember the Titans, a favorite of mine--ask me to quote it. Kristina pointed out that BYU was using the film to pump the students up before the season starts this Saturday. I hadn't thought of that. But watching the movie, made me picture myself in front of students. In front of them teaching, in charge of their education. What if I'm bad at it? I realize that I am afraid of failing them and failing myself. This is the intimidation.

But like I said, the due date is coming. I'm already here. Picking a major is the same as getting pregnant. It's too late at this point.

Employed to Mentor and Teach!

I am now a mentor for BYU's freshman athletes. I will be assigned members of the track, volleyball, and basketball teams. I honestly am so excited about this position because I will be helping students establish good study skills, time management methods, and good university habits as they try to succeed academically while also playing their sports.

I realized in class last night, that my classes often feel like spiritual experiences. Not because they are religious, but because as I learn to be a teacher, I am preparing to serve humanity and lift my students to reach their potential, to build positive self-esteem, and to feel accepted and loved. These are my goals. More than teaching the subject of English, I am excited to teach young people. It's like we learned as missionaries, "teach the people, not the lessons."

In class, we discussed the concept of "home team," where students have a safe, fun, and loving environment. At sport events, the student body only cheers positively its team, and does not boo the opponent. That builds confidence and self worth. The players feel safe to play, safe to make mistakes, and safe to lose. This opens their minds to succeeding.

I realized that when I was in high school, I didn't feel a part of the home team when I played volleyball. I was afraid to mess up. I was afraid to be daring because of that. When my coach made a comment about the Mormon tabernacle choir, my confidence shrunk even more. Eventually, my junior year, I didn't even try out because I didn't feel good about myself while playing on the team. I also never tried out for softball, another favorite sport because I was afraid of not making it or not performing well in practices or games. These were such lost opportunities and I regret them so much. I regret not playing. It was directly a result of self-esteem issues. Though academically I excelled, part of my development failed.

That is what "home team" is meant to prevent. It is a feeling to build students up and to help them be themselves at their bests. I am so excited to help in this endeavor.