I feel like I'm about to have a baby. Don't worry, I don't mean that I'm literally knocking on the hospital's door with contractions jolting my stomach. I mean that as I approach my student teaching, I can see the due date, and there's no going back. I decided nine months ago plus some years that this was my goal so here I am.
As you can tell by my last post, I often feel destined to be a teacher. Like I said, I feel so empowered in my classes and learning. But today, two things happened that shook my confidence. One, I found out that I will be going to a high school, which intimidates me. I have been preping my nerves for middle school. But high school seems more intimidating. Closer in age. So: I'll readjust. But it just becomes more real knowing where I will be.
After a long day of homework, my first day of work, and my responsibilities, I went to the BYU baseball field to watch Remember the Titans, a favorite of mine--ask me to quote it. Kristina pointed out that BYU was using the film to pump the students up before the season starts this Saturday. I hadn't thought of that. But watching the movie, made me picture myself in front of students. In front of them teaching, in charge of their education. What if I'm bad at it? I realize that I am afraid of failing them and failing myself. This is the intimidation.
But like I said, the due date is coming. I'm already here. Picking a major is the same as getting pregnant. It's too late at this point.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Employed to Mentor and Teach!
I am now a mentor for BYU's freshman athletes. I will be assigned members of the track, volleyball, and basketball teams. I honestly am so excited about this position because I will be helping students establish good study skills, time management methods, and good university habits as they try to succeed academically while also playing their sports.
I realized in class last night, that my classes often feel like spiritual experiences. Not because they are religious, but because as I learn to be a teacher, I am preparing to serve humanity and lift my students to reach their potential, to build positive self-esteem, and to feel accepted and loved. These are my goals. More than teaching the subject of English, I am excited to teach young people. It's like we learned as missionaries, "teach the people, not the lessons."
In class, we discussed the concept of "home team," where students have a safe, fun, and loving environment. At sport events, the student body only cheers positively its team, and does not boo the opponent. That builds confidence and self worth. The players feel safe to play, safe to make mistakes, and safe to lose. This opens their minds to succeeding.
I realized that when I was in high school, I didn't feel a part of the home team when I played volleyball. I was afraid to mess up. I was afraid to be daring because of that. When my coach made a comment about the Mormon tabernacle choir, my confidence shrunk even more. Eventually, my junior year, I didn't even try out because I didn't feel good about myself while playing on the team. I also never tried out for softball, another favorite sport because I was afraid of not making it or not performing well in practices or games. These were such lost opportunities and I regret them so much. I regret not playing. It was directly a result of self-esteem issues. Though academically I excelled, part of my development failed.
That is what "home team" is meant to prevent. It is a feeling to build students up and to help them be themselves at their bests. I am so excited to help in this endeavor.
I realized in class last night, that my classes often feel like spiritual experiences. Not because they are religious, but because as I learn to be a teacher, I am preparing to serve humanity and lift my students to reach their potential, to build positive self-esteem, and to feel accepted and loved. These are my goals. More than teaching the subject of English, I am excited to teach young people. It's like we learned as missionaries, "teach the people, not the lessons."
In class, we discussed the concept of "home team," where students have a safe, fun, and loving environment. At sport events, the student body only cheers positively its team, and does not boo the opponent. That builds confidence and self worth. The players feel safe to play, safe to make mistakes, and safe to lose. This opens their minds to succeeding.
I realized that when I was in high school, I didn't feel a part of the home team when I played volleyball. I was afraid to mess up. I was afraid to be daring because of that. When my coach made a comment about the Mormon tabernacle choir, my confidence shrunk even more. Eventually, my junior year, I didn't even try out because I didn't feel good about myself while playing on the team. I also never tried out for softball, another favorite sport because I was afraid of not making it or not performing well in practices or games. These were such lost opportunities and I regret them so much. I regret not playing. It was directly a result of self-esteem issues. Though academically I excelled, part of my development failed.
That is what "home team" is meant to prevent. It is a feeling to build students up and to help them be themselves at their bests. I am so excited to help in this endeavor.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
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Thursday, August 5, 2010
Friendly Angels of Inspiration
I am just musing about how blessed I am. The Lord has given me so many wonderful friends to lift me up in moments of need. Some of these friends are family members, and some are friends that I have made my family. Those people in my life who make me want to be a better person are invaluable to me. They often are answers to my prayers. Rays of sunshine. They are the whisperings of the Spirit, as they follow promptings that affect me in my life. In this way they are angels to me.
This morning, a mission friend told me that we are most blessed when we have trials. The Lord taught us this in the Sermon on the Mount. He said what I needed to hear this morning, and he is in Columbia, completely unaware of the minute, silly details of my life. Yet, the Lord once again provided a tender mercy.
This morning, a mission friend told me that we are most blessed when we have trials. The Lord taught us this in the Sermon on the Mount. He said what I needed to hear this morning, and he is in Columbia, completely unaware of the minute, silly details of my life. Yet, the Lord once again provided a tender mercy.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
:-)
Happiness means letting go of things
outside of your control.
It means forging new levels of patience.
And new methods for coping.
Happiness means being grateful
for what blessingsyou have.
Not demanding that they be
tailor-made to your wishes.
Happiness means accepting life as it is.
And stepping forward with
hope for tomorrow--
And yesterday--
And today.
Hope that tomorrow will find growth.
Yesterday, meaning.
And today________________________________.
(FILL IN THE BLANK)
Written on July 7, 2010
outside of your control.
It means forging new levels of patience.
And new methods for coping.
Happiness means being grateful
for what blessingsyou have.
Not demanding that they be
tailor-made to your wishes.
Happiness means accepting life as it is.
And stepping forward with
hope for tomorrow--
And yesterday--
And today.
Hope that tomorrow will find growth.
Yesterday, meaning.
And today________________________________.
(FILL IN THE BLANK)
Written on July 7, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Grammie's Stories
As I am spending time in Maine with my grandparents, my life consists of several things, some outdoors and some in. My mom and I are biking a lot along the coast. I did Pilates this morning when I woke up, and then lazily read for a while, watched a movie, did laundry, went rock searching and so on. My rock collection is growing. Since there is nothing else to be doing with my time, why not collect rocks? Seems a good use of the plenty of time I have.
I have also been asking my grandmother about her parents and about her life as well. I have learned the most random things. For instance, when she was applying for jobs, after graduating from college, she said that she couldn’t find a job as a chemist. First of all as background information, when Grammie was in high school, she took physics, which girls just did not do in her day. She was one of two girls to take the class. It comes as no surprise, even after the Rosies changed the workforce, that in the 1940s, women were not allowed to be chemists. Except to wash the bottles and such as she pointed out. Also, one job listed the requirement that she not become pregnant for five years. She obviously refused since my uncle was born. These were interesting facts. To realize that in my grandmother’s lifetime, women did not have the opportunities that they have today. I have often said that I am tired of the feminist criticism that is debated in my English classes, and I still maintain that they are overly discussed at this point, but my grandmother lived through the injustice.
She went to a women’s college, a part of Rutger’s University in New Jersey, where curfew was 7:00 p.m. If she wasn’t in her dormitory by that time, the doors were locked, and the girls had to find a watchman to let them in and rebuke them. When I asked her if he was harsh in the scolding, she said she didn’t know because she never did it. She never got in trouble. I asked her if being in by 7:00 p.m. was hard, to which she said, “no! I was sixteen years old! Where was I going to be?” I also asked her how life was during the War, but she said that she didn’t notice. “I was in college. When you’re in college, you’re in your own little world.” I loved that. Men were not supposed to visit the girls. Not even her brother could come without special permission. She remarked that nowadays, colleges have no regulations. (I thought, BYU does). But I am grateful that curfew is not at 7:00 p.m.
Her mother, my great-grandmother Anna Charlotte, apparently lied to her husband and the government about her age. She didn’t want to be two years older than him so she said that she was born in 1895 on government documents to youthen up. But Grammie found her birth certificate and uncovered the secret. She said that she didn’t think that her father ever knew that she lied. Sounds like a womanly thing to do. I really laughed at this bit.
And my great-grandfather, Howard Skyler Mahany, obviously liked tourism because rather than regular industry. He came over from Ireland when he was eighteen. As an entrepreneur, he owned an excursion boating company that ran up and down the Hudson River and an excursion bus industry.
Grandpa Quotes
I usually write with a pen and paper.
Cell phones. Biggest waste of time.
Why do you keep music on your computer?
Well, where is your IPOD?
I have also been asking my grandmother about her parents and about her life as well. I have learned the most random things. For instance, when she was applying for jobs, after graduating from college, she said that she couldn’t find a job as a chemist. First of all as background information, when Grammie was in high school, she took physics, which girls just did not do in her day. She was one of two girls to take the class. It comes as no surprise, even after the Rosies changed the workforce, that in the 1940s, women were not allowed to be chemists. Except to wash the bottles and such as she pointed out. Also, one job listed the requirement that she not become pregnant for five years. She obviously refused since my uncle was born. These were interesting facts. To realize that in my grandmother’s lifetime, women did not have the opportunities that they have today. I have often said that I am tired of the feminist criticism that is debated in my English classes, and I still maintain that they are overly discussed at this point, but my grandmother lived through the injustice.
She went to a women’s college, a part of Rutger’s University in New Jersey, where curfew was 7:00 p.m. If she wasn’t in her dormitory by that time, the doors were locked, and the girls had to find a watchman to let them in and rebuke them. When I asked her if he was harsh in the scolding, she said she didn’t know because she never did it. She never got in trouble. I asked her if being in by 7:00 p.m. was hard, to which she said, “no! I was sixteen years old! Where was I going to be?” I also asked her how life was during the War, but she said that she didn’t notice. “I was in college. When you’re in college, you’re in your own little world.” I loved that. Men were not supposed to visit the girls. Not even her brother could come without special permission. She remarked that nowadays, colleges have no regulations. (I thought, BYU does). But I am grateful that curfew is not at 7:00 p.m.
Her mother, my great-grandmother Anna Charlotte, apparently lied to her husband and the government about her age. She didn’t want to be two years older than him so she said that she was born in 1895 on government documents to youthen up. But Grammie found her birth certificate and uncovered the secret. She said that she didn’t think that her father ever knew that she lied. Sounds like a womanly thing to do. I really laughed at this bit.
And my great-grandfather, Howard Skyler Mahany, obviously liked tourism because rather than regular industry. He came over from Ireland when he was eighteen. As an entrepreneur, he owned an excursion boating company that ran up and down the Hudson River and an excursion bus industry.
Grandpa Quotes
I usually write with a pen and paper.
Cell phones. Biggest waste of time.
Why do you keep music on your computer?
Well, where is your IPOD?
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