I have four older sisters, who I’ve neverlived with. The youngest of them isseven years older than me. When I was probably twelve years old, I began tonotice how pretty they were, and how much I wanted to be like them. Diedra was so thin and athletic. Becca had the best southern accent, charm,and confidence—at least it seemed so. Leanna had the best hair and seemed so feminine yet hippyesque; how didshe manage that balance? I saw in Erica the spunky yet stunning blonde I hopedto become as well. I looked to them asexamples of what a woman should be, amidst the confusion I felt throughoutadolescence.
When I grew up, the plan was set. Iwas going to dress like them. They wereso classy! Always in solids, instead of the trendy clothes that would fly inand out of fashion, my sisters could have been the poster children for GAP andBanana, even though I don’t know if that’s where they were actually shopping. At one point or another, I saw them in thisoutfit: a black shirt, simple and form fitting, something foreign to me since Iwas used to wearing a shirt a size too big so that I could wear it the nextyear too or seeing my mom wear her giant tie-dye shirts. They donned khaki pants, popular in the 90s,accompanied by brown leather sandals with a small platform to add some height;and I never failed to notice their simple, silver earrings, usually a pair ofsmall, thick hoops. That was what I wasshooting for. That classy, classic look.
My freshman year of college, I eventold my roommate that it was better to buy a few classic, classy pieces foryour wardrobe because they’d always be in style. She looked at me like I was crazy. I kinda was, but I felt so grown-up andjustified in my comment. I wasdescribing my sisters’ style, and I told her so. She said, “you are 18 and you want to dresslike you’re 30 or 40.” I realized thatsounded weird, but I really did want to be like my sisters. Implementing that desire proved harder than Ithought. I didn’t know how.
Throughout college, I transformed—thechubby caterpillar to a polished butterfly? I hope so. I traded my T-shirtswith logos for T-shirts with varied necklines and colors. I bought sizes that fit better and were moreflattering, after much coaching. I joineda gym so that my body would better fit the styles I wanted to wear and figuredout I could become more fit and healthy, like my older sisters.
A fewmonths ago, even 6 years after working on this, my roommate said, “Sarah, if we’dlet you, you’d wear a tent.” I wanted to buy a giant shirt—I don’t rememberwhy, but we laughed and laughed at how true that statement would have been afew years before, but eventually, my personality and confidence came into itsown. I have my own style, that my littlesisters still laugh at, but I love my bright colors and fun jewelry—solidprints and GAP jeans to be classy like my role models and funky jewelry just forme.
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